Going Beyond ourselves

4 May

Do you ever think that something is just “beyond” you?  That may be exactly what God has planned.  Reading through Romans has reminded me that God wants to be God!  God waited until Abraham was as good as dead to give him the promised heir.  God did it, not Abraham, it was beyond Abraham.

In His gentle love He longs to reveal Himself to us, personally.  He often does this in the lives of His children by calling us to something that seems beyond what we can handle on our own.  This is an opportunity for Him to draw us closer to Himself, to be BIG, to reveal His power, His might, His grace, in our lives that we may not otherwise experience.  Only when things seem to be beyond us can He step in and reveal Himself to us in a very very special way.  Now, that calling of His must be consistent with His word, the Bible.  Is it also confirmed through other sources like a message in church or on Christian radio, a Christian book.  The Bible is our first “test”  but often by His grace He will confirm His leading through various messages that we hear.  Shut off radio or TV that is not enabling you to hear from Him clearly.  Allow time for prayer and reading of His word, surround yourself with Christian brothers and sisters who can speak truth to you, into you.  He will show up!  Pray for eyes to see and hear.  Pray that by His grace He would confirm His will this decision or call that you sense is from Him.  Do not look at your life and wonder how it can happen, but rather fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith!  Life is too overwhelming and the enemy of us all would love for you and I too feel swamped, too busy to take on something that God has planned for us, a blessing, surprise.

However, I feel like in our society we often feel the opposite, if it is uncomfortable, not adding up, seems to difficult we interpret that as the Holy Spirit’s guiding!  I know I have!  What have I missed out on for not listening to God in that impossible call?

Two of the biggest beyond me times in my resent life have been the call to bring all the kids home for school at home and our adoption stories.  Yes, homeschooling seemed so impossible and scary!  But GOD….. it was an opportunity to follow Him, it was a time in my life when I was learning to hear His voice and follow, to obey no matter what seemed to “make sense” to me.  When you listen to His voice and obey you are bulking yourself up, hold on and prepare for a deeper walk with HIM!!!  Each time you do this you learn more about trusting Him, about listening and recognizing His voice.   You will fall more and more in love with Him and the things on earth will go strangely dim in the light of His marvelous GRACE!

When I first became a full on follower of Christ I began to sense Him directing, calling, leading.  I longed for deeper intimacy with Him and the more I prayed for that the more I began to get nudgings from his Holy Spirit that lined up with His word in the Bible.  The first one was so scary!  I was a nanny for a family  that had 4 children and at one time I walked up stairs to check on the 6th grade son (the oldest in the family) and his neighbor friend.  I knew they were playing legos but it was strangely quiet.  They had found pornographic videos in their parents bedroom.  I was sick!  I gently spoke with the boys and prayed.  I was staying overnight with the family for a week while the parents were gone.  I could hardly eat that week!  I actually wrestled back and forth, “I need to tell the parents!  No, I don’t need to tell them!  I’ll just pray that God will reveal it to them!!!!”  Honestly it was such a time of stress for  me.  When the parents arrived home I did not tell.  I prayed the next day while out for my run and KNEW God was asking me to trust Him and to tell them about their son and his friend.  An old Steven Curtis Chapman song prompted me, the chapel speaker at my college threw out a line in his speech that I knew was directed at me!  I drove, told  the mother, and drove back to my dorm crying at her reaction, yet loving God more and telling Him I want to continue to hear and obey Him.

That is the same voice I heard telling us to adopt Mimi, then Lainee and Zinnia.  I don’t know how long these girls will grace our lives but God does and it’s just my job to point them to Jesus and speak His name over and over into their little hearts.  When they do meet Him I pray it will be after me, but if not I can rest knowing they know Him.

mimi, gigi and mom, how sweet it is!

Heading in for surgery today.  9:20 and 10:30.  These are very special girls, I feel so strongly about that, He is calling them and gently holding their little lives under His wing.  I am sick when I think that I could have missed this.

Update coming this afternoon.

Loving Him,



2 Responses to “Going Beyond ourselves”

  1. Laurie May 4, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Praying and standing by.

  2. beth jones May 4, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    this post makes me cry. all of it. your heart, His grace. i love you precious sister and friend!!!!

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