beautiful heart beginning to bloom

3 Jun

These girls are so very special.  Both of them are loving books, sitting with me while I read or tell the story in words that I know they will understand.  We are CONSTANTLY amazed at the things they say to us in English.  When they slip into Chinese while talking to me I just smile and say, “I don’t know Chinese!”  And they laugh and laugh.  They are both brilliant!  Oh, to watch their precious little faces while their brains search for the right words.  It is so special.  The other children in our family have a great respect for them.  They are tender and sweet to their new sisters, often responding with, “Mom!  I can’t imagine being put in a family that didn’t speak my language!!”  I am constantly praying about ways to build these girls up and the language is one I use daily, “Great English girls!  You are amazing!!!  2!  Wow!  Chinese and English!!  Wow!  Mommy only 1, only English!!!”  I am just shocked at how they remember things.  I will literally tell them a word once and they file it away and pull it out later to surprise me.  God has intervened here.  It’s such a gift to see.  I am so glad we didn’t miss this.

This is the page of a book that brought GREAT discussion for Zinnia and me.

It’s out of a book called PEOPLE.  Sometimes I feel like these girls have been living inside a bubble, unexposed to anything in the world.  I wonder, did anyone ever sit and read them a book?  Time stood still and Zinnia studied and studied this page.  I told her that on the top of the page, ” these people have money, everything is nice and clean etc. These people on the bottom are so poor, sad, dirty,”  Zinnia gasped!  “No food!  No grass!  No Car!  No milk!  No clean! No shoes! OH NO!!!!”  Then she pointed to the top part of the page and said one precious little word.  “SHARE?”

” Yes, Zinnia.  Jesus tells us to share.  The Bible says to share with God’s people who are in need.  Daddy, he shares with the no money people.”

Zinnia said, “Oh thank you thank you thank you!!!!!  Daddy is so good!  Zinnia please share these people?  At Jones house Zinnia shoes, shoes, shoes, mommy, OH MY GOODNESS zinnia has BIG (lots of )shoes!”

the girls love to dress up in their chinese dressses

Zinnia asked me to tell daddy to call Long gang Su Su.  This is the “uncle” of their orphanage.  I remember meeting him, he averted my eyes and didn’t smile.  He was young and short and dressed like a teen ager.  He didn’t say good bye to the girls, they didn’t say good bye to him.  Zinnia said, “tell daddy call Su su, tell susu nice to Zinnia, Lainee.  Tell su su no no-eat!  Please daddy call susu tell susu eat, good!”  I knew she was telling me to call the orphanage and tell susu to let them eat, not to punish them with “NO EAT!”   My heart.  MY GIRLS!!  They love their daddy, understand him to be their advocate.

Someone asked me if we pray that they will be healed.  I have a few times before they came home.  I prayed a few times with Chris that the diagnosis would be incorrect.  But, I know that God is not most concerned with healing their little bodies, the outer shell we all carry around each day and night. ” The clothes and the skin are just a coverin'”…He is most concerned with healing our hearts and that is our prayer for these two little gifts.  Could He heal their bodies?  YES! However, we trust Him and His design for their lives, for our lives.  He is using their heal issues in all of our lives, we are better for it! We pray for their hearts to be healed; meaning that they would come to know Jesus as their savior, God as their creator, the Holy Spirit as their comforter.  And like we do with all our children, we bravely hold them up to Him with an open hand and ask that He would used WHATEVER He sees fit to draw them closer to Himself, whatever He sees fit to foster a personal relationship between themselves and HIM.  Then whatever befalls my children day in and day out is accepted as having fallen through the hand of their perfect CREATOR, the one who makes no mistakes, the one who is the source of unending love, the one who loves them more then I do.

We must look at the big picture and remember that this is not our home, that we await a heavenly home, one in which their will be no more suffering and no more tears.  Come Lord Jesus!

We spent the day unexpectedly in the hospital yesterday.  I ran them in for a routine draw and they needed to stay to be transfused.  One nurse pulled me aside and said, “I don’t understand how you can remain so calm in this, don’t you have other kids at home?”  Jesus. I didn’t feel calm but I’m thankful that Jesus allowed me to come across like that.  My heart was torn in 7 pieces yesterday, broken, needing to be in many different places at once.  Mimi had a class party for parents that I had to miss.  I called a friend and she covered there for me!  Praise God!  I called another friend who brought lunch to my kids at home, check in on them and came to relieve me at the hospital so I could take another one to a scheduled doctor’s appointment.  It was a crazy day with lots more details that I’ll spare you!  My point is that if you are walking in His will, taking a risk in following Him on something, He will perfectly provide for you and it’s exciting to be a part of that when you feel He has called you to do something that seems beyond you.

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2 Responses to “beautiful heart beginning to bloom”

  1. Ali Diaz June 3, 2011 at 8:09 am #

    Zinnia’s desire to share is so sweet! The Lord is clearly working in her heart. I love the reminder and encouragement that He can help us be calm in the midst of a very full plate. God continue to bless you all!

  2. Laurel S. June 5, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

    From the mouth of babes. . . “Share.” How I wish I could be near you to run lunch to your children or go to Mimi’s class party, as your kids presence seems such a blessing. But you will be help up in prayer here in the Northeast!

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