summer fun

21 Jun

hot tub fun!

we’ve been having fun!

zinnia and I worked on riding with no training wheels at my parents house with a nice long driveway. She's feeling proud.

We got to spend time with cousins and aunts and uncles, Nana and Grandpa.

cousins hangin' out at the beach house

The girls love the beach.  Zinnia told me,” mom, in China, no bike, no swim, no bath, no swing, no nothing, only movie”.

Elaine Grace Jones~now and forever

Yes, they are 2 very happy little girls.

zinnia learning to boogie board

I was thinking this morning while on my early morning run…if someone would have told me what life would be like after the girls I would not have gone through with the adoption.  Wait a minute, don’t get all worried.

noah's catch. Zinnia said, "EAT, MOM???"

 

If someone would have told me…

I would be in the hospital every week, for several hours at a time ….

that the laundry would be  alot more crazy even with only two more little bodies.

that they won’t want to eat our food

and they will want you to rock them every night

and sing lots of songs every night

and bring water

and another hug several times  the day

and “tell me mommy china”  (the story of mommy coming to get them)again and again and again (in bed when I’m dead tired)

and going out would be such a production,

that both girls would be S L O W at everything (especially when I’m late)

that I would not be able to read out loud to my older kids for several months (one of my FAVORITE things to do)

that they had several other medical issues stemming from the thalassemia

that one would have some hearing loss

that one would have a deformed skull

that one would have severe eczema that takes extra time to tend to several times a day.

These things would have overwhelmed me!!!  I have severe migraines that last for weeks and weeks, I have two fractured vertebrae in my lower back, I have two kids already who at times feel like severe “special needs” already. I homeschool, we like to go out to eat, we like to travel….on and on.  It would have been “too much” for me.

But, the thing is that I’m on the other side, the other side of jumping off the “risky dual special needs older child adoption” cliff and I’m loving every single minute of it.  We are better for it.  Not easier, but better, learning to give, learning to love, to share, to care.  I’ve seen deep compassion in my older kids that warms a mother’s soul like nothing else can.  They were there, they were walking around the orphanage, viewing it all, taking it all in, with tears in our eyes.  My stomach drops every time I stop to think of  the day we visited their orphanage.  Real lives are still there, still waiting, still wondering when they will get to leave.  I just can’t even stomach it at times.  That, yes THAT, not the extra’s on my list above, THAT place and THOSE FACES still in my mind…left there waiting.  I wish there was no paper work.  I wish we could just tell the orphanage that we want…that one and go.

THAT is the HARD PART of this adoption.

If someone would have told me it would be so wonderful to have them and such a privilege to care for them, such a joy…I could have gone forward with such peace.  Over whelming joy.  But, God does not work that way.  He kept me needing Him.  He kept me where he wanted me, clinging and trusting and obeying WHATEVER the cost, with NO Promises for wonderfulness.  He wanted to remind me that Jesus chose the cross, the hard way, He had eternity in mind.  He wanted me to have eternity in mind.  Christ gave His life away, I needed to be willing to give my life away.  I needed to be reminded that I am only a sojourner in this brief life.  He wanted to remind me that He IS GOOD even if life looks bad to me.  HE IS GOOD.

I’ve learned much and for that i’m so thankful. 

 

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4 Responses to “summer fun”

  1. Shelby June 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    Hey Laura,
    I found your blog online, and I love it!!! I just have a question…what are the little girls’ special needs? Other than hearing loss? If you could email me, that would be GREAT! my email address is sagoodrich@juno.com thank you!!

  2. laurajonesjournal June 22, 2011 at 6:22 am #

    The girls have Beta Thalassemia, I think it’s in my “about”. Have a great day!
    Laura

  3. Cindy Pratt June 22, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    Laura, i’ve been following your blog after Kristen Conley and Cindy Augustine told me about it. I love reading about your journey and am spurred on in my faith by your faith in our Great God! Thanks for sharing so openly, so transparently. I don’t know your family well, but feel like I know you better after reading your blog! I pray for your family as God brings them to mind and hope to see you and your family out sometime soon! Keep enjoying summer, keep pressing on in faith in this journey God has you on! God bless you.

  4. Jennifer June 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    Hi! I am Jennifer, mom of Lucy (zi fang) who was Lainie’s foster sister in china! Just talked to Jenny and got your blog address….what a great blog. Your family is beautiful. Please email me sometimes, I would love to chat! Jennifer.Clements@elic.org

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