30 Jul

i  really love it when the girls tell me something new about their past that I never knew.

i would love to be able to sit down with them and ask TONS of questions.

i really don’t know much about the last 7 years.

i know the place were each of them were left.

i know lainee says she didn’t have toothpaste in china only water.

She says they didn’t give her new tooth paste, only zinnia did.

Zinnia confirmed this.

Lainee told me sometimes at her foster parents house they brushed teeth with water in the potty.

i know Zinnia’s DOB because a note was left on her.  Her mother left her to die, it looked like she would die at any minute.

i know each of them have been in a foster family apartment but I don’t know how long.

i know they never went with out shoes.

i know they never slept in pajamas.

i know they never had been submerged in water, like a bath.

i know they love to sit and listen to me read books, or just sit by themselves and look at the pictures.

I know they had never had anyone read them a book in China

I know they are thriving

I know they are growing in all aspects.

Yesterday Zinnia and I went down to the beach and sat alone together.

I wanted to have a “deep” talk.

what we found on our walk

But I wanted to be “safe”.

zinnia's pet for the day

We talked about God.  I told her there is only one God.

God is the FATHER, Jesus, the Son, “boy of God”.

I told her some people believe there are lots of gods.

I told her some people even think the sunshine is a god.

She said, “MOM! NO! Sunshine no have ears to hear me!

Sunshine no help me!  God help me!”

I asked her about her favorites…going gently, favorite food, color, etc. then I wanted to go deeper into her past, gently.

I asked her who her favorite friend was at her orphanage.

as you enter their orphanage there is a large mural of photos of the children's faces, hundreds of little black haired cuties, precious children. As we were leaving the orphanage I asked the girls if their photos were up there, I couldn't tell. Yes, they are there, right next to each other in that large sea of almond eyes. I snapped some photos and they walked out of that orphanage with their forever family. Holding each other's hand smiling and waving. Free.

Lainee Grace and Zinnia Joy RIGHT next to each other on the photo wall. The only "old" photos I have of them. God knew they would be forever sisters.

This is what she said to me,

“my favotite friend in China was Lainee Grace, Mom!”

i said, “Oh Zinnia!  I’m so glad that she is your sister!”

“Yup, mom, me too!”

I know our transition has been very smooth and of course I give God credit for that.

He drew our hearts to 2 and even though it seemed so crazy

we did it.

sometimes i look at them and think, i can’t believe we did this!

Giving God credit first and foremost, I also want to say that

the empowered to connect conference was so helpful to us.

Helpful to me especially as I am the one who spends the most time with them.

we were given tools to parent “older” children.

Along with that conference the book, the connected child.

Have our girls grieved?


We do move at a pretty fast pass around here.

lots of fun, lots of people doing lots of different activities does not give a lot of time for their little minds to reflect on the HUGE change that has occured.


at night, as I tuck them in and we pray, a few times we  hug extra hard and mourn.

little tears,

big squeezes,

we pray.

We pray for their orphanage,

We pray for all the children who need families (not by name!)

They pray for their foster families.

Last night Zinnia said that she would like to drive a long ways, say hi to foster mama, give her a hug and come right back to beach house, leaving foster mama in China.  I wish I could have said, “ok, lets do that”  or “sure, some day”  but instead I just said, “Yes, I know, that would be nice.  She would love to see how strong you are getting, how big you are, how long your hair is, how happy you are.”  She just said, “yes mom, she be happy.”

I want to let them share this with me,

I want to help them in their grief.

I’m glad it’s very brief.

I’m glad they want to stay here.

I’m glad the tears are little.

I’m glad they have each other.

so glad


2 Responses to “”

  1. Lynne July 31, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    Oh Laura – such a beautiful post. God has given you the most wonderful gift of being able to express your words and thoughts so beautifully. I love each one of the pictures as well. Completely warms my heart. xoxoxo

  2. Mary Carlson August 3, 2011 at 11:24 am #

    Love how God is our best friend and he has a plan for our best friend’s!!!!!! “Let all that I am praise the Lord: may I never forget the good things he does for me” Psalm 103:2

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