having issues

13 Aug

I’ve tried to start several posts.

my heart is so heavy

for several things

for my youngest right now.

and

my mind swirls with the busyness that the school year brings.

my oldest off to high school after being home schooled is so good, but different.

I have thoughts of fundraising ideas for friends who are hoping to adopt.

families adopting families that want to adopt.

did

you

get

that?

Or, a school or youth group or small group “adopting” a family who is adopting.  Kids being creative, bake sales, yard sales, t shirts, babysitting jobs etc.  raising funds for another family to bring home another one the the hundreds of millions of orphans.

i get excited about things like this.

i love things like this!

when i run in the mornings i’m ready to adopt again.

I feel so close to God

music so loud

legs so fast.

i picture a boy out there

for our family.

a boy waiting and waiting.

a big boy

i cry about it, i feel stuck, i feel angry for it.

life is so hard when i think of the ones out there.

hard

its much easier if i can just stay busy and focus on my own busy family and our issues then allow my mind to drift back

to

them.

the ones left behind.

not one day has passed then i don’t remember and get a

lump in my heart area

remembering my precious 4 oldest kids

walking the halls of the orphanage

looking at the children in their crib beds

waving at us

i’m mad about it.

it’s so much better not to focus on it.  Someone else can deal with that.  it’s too hard to think about.

Right?

I’m

so

sad

about it

So, back to me and my issues,  a comfortable place to sit my mind

if you know my kids,

and i tell you that we made a trip to the ER with one….

who would you guess?

hum?

you know don’t you?

yup.

a broken foot for my

NOAH.

Yes,

only Noah,

always Noah.

Maybe he will learn from this

that it really is best to listen to your mom and wear your shoes when you ride a new

RAZOR SCOOTER (the new kind with NO brake) down a very big hill.

top two ways kids brake bones?

#1 trampoline (noah’s done that)

#2 razor scooter (now we can check that one off too).

I honestly feel a bit thankful for this for him.

God allowed it.

I’m praying he will learn that he’s not invinsible.

I leave you tonight signing off as “Issue-heavily-ladened Laura”

A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:7-10

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5 Responses to “having issues”

  1. Sonia August 13, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    Wow. I’ll be praying for you my friend! I love your heart! I know EXACTLY what you mean about being burdened by those left behind. How can we not be? How can we help? What can we do? It is all consuming. I don’t think anyone can go over there and see what we see and not be forever changed. I remember once we got settled with Jacob and Joey and thought our family was complete I was so consumed by Lord show me what I can still do for all the rest of them! He’ll give you an answer sweet friend. He will! Love ya!

  2. Lynne August 14, 2011 at 10:34 am #

    Oh, my dear Laura: I read your post through my tears. My heart is so heavy for you. So many things to cope with. I follow some orphanages in China, and several other countries. Sometimes I can read them and look at the pictures, other times I just can’t. How I wish there were no such word as orphan……..that every precious child had a home of their very own. It haunts me. My prayers are with you and your family, every single day. Sending love and hugs across the miles to you. My Love xoxoxo

  3. Jo August 14, 2011 at 5:24 pm #

    Hi Laura ~ Sounds like a tough season in life. I’m Praying that this is a time of learning more about the people and things He has placed in your life. I will be Praying for Peace in your heart and for healing for ALL of your children. Sorry to hear about the broken foot! Love ~ Jo

  4. Laurie August 16, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    Love to you all. Standing by and praying too.

  5. Leah August 16, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    I will pray for you, sweet friend. I think about you lots and always stare at your driveway when driving by (not like a stalker, like a friend!).

    What about a regular time of fasting and prayer, as a group, for orphans and the church? I was reading in the doc office about the famine in Somalia – I have tried not to learn too much but today I indulged in info and it just sucks. Anger and tears and frustration and God what can I do? What???!!! So many hurting children everywhere. And he sees them all. I heard Piper say once that if we saw all the suffering God sees (and cares about!) every minute of every day we would want to tear off our faces. He has given us burdens to share with him and what can we do that is more effective than prayer? Let me know when you start up that prayer and fasting group! :) I’m in! And let’s keep praying for all those who want to adopt but have big obstacles for God to move first! :)

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