8 Feb

It’s been a  good-hard week.

Being a parent is hard!

Issues with little kids~hard!

Issues with big kids~harder.

I’ve had no picture taking “Umph” to me :(

We pray, and have for years and years that God would SHOW us the SIN in our kid’s lives.

ANY sin, Lord, reveal it, bring it to light.

We pray this knowing we are fully equipped to parent them and point them to Christ.

We’ve also prayed, “Lord, use WHATEVER means you see fit to bring my child into an authentic, deep, personal relationship with you!”  And I’ve prayed that so sincerely, and meant it and still do.

So, God answers those prayers and I try not to freak out as the answer comes in a form that I did not think would be good  or bearable or suitable.  But God’s ways are so much higher then mine.  I’m learning and learning again and again that His idea of “good” is NOT mine.  Oh, God let me submit to what you think is good.

Parenting is so sanctifying, so humbling.

To watch your child be broken with sin,

when if feels like your whole family has become a heap of ashes…

and to trust that HE allowed this so that HE can humble, rebuild, restore, revive!

So, I have soaked myself with SC Chapman’s beauty from Ashes album this week.

In tears over the valleys we face as a big family, with lots of kids and lots of junk that comes with being human!

And this is so timely.

The week ends in such JOY, joy restored.

Thursday night we see Steven CC in concert, just the older 4 kids and my brother and his wife.

worship.

I so need it!

Friday we head for BLOOD for the girls

GOD!  This too is so so symbolic to me this week.

We are washed in HIS blood.

Cleansed and revived.

OH the need for blood, and He has reminded our family of this in such a visible way.

AFter blood we all head to the airport.

Taking school kids out of school~

to welcome home Joseph and Samuel and our very good friends.

Praise God for this reminder also, needed this week for my whole family.

That we are adopted, welcomed in, not because of any good work we have done (HA!) but because of His great saving LOVE.

He welcomes us in, home, like we will welcome these boys.

He has been gracious to me!

This has been a HUGE week in our lives.

Too much!

Too private to share but not too private to give God all the glory for the way he deals so lovingly with His children.

I have been humbled down to the ground

where i belong (really, right?)

Praise Him.

I hate long posts!  sorry.

I just have to add something about my zinnia joy…

more that she has said that I don’t want to forget.

She asked, “How you know my birthday is?”

I said, “well, Zinnia honey, you were left with a letter.  and that letter said when your birthday was.”

“OH!” she said and skipped away.

Last night she told me that in China no one ever kissed her.

As she said her prayers I kissed her cheek 10s of times and wondered, How can you be so normal and well despite no kisses???

I said, “Zinnia, I’m sorry you had no kisses.”

She said, “NO!  MOM!  it’s good because kisses are for mommies to do”.

Then she said the words that I have wondered when they would come out….

“WHERE IS MY CHINA MOMMY?”  oh wow!  the words.  she acknowledged ‘her’.

Zinnia I don’t know where she is but God can see her and he knows and we can pray for her.

“WE CAN?”

Yes and so we did and I ended it with “GOD we pray that you would cause her to know Jesus and to Love God so that Zinnia and I can one day see her in heaven!”

Zinnia GASPED!  “Oh mommy!!!”

It’s so hard.  I love her and know she’s mine.

But I ache that she was left.  I know this is part of God’s plan for her, for them but I still cry over that loss for her.

God Bless you all~

EVER-LEARNING Laura

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3 Responses to “”

  1. sasha February 8, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    Out of ashes beauty will rise! That’s a promise from HIM.
    Thanks for the CD.
    You are such gift and encouragement.
    Thanks for being real.
    The airport is going to be filled with some serious emotions friday!
    Praying for you.

  2. praiseproclaimer February 8, 2012 at 9:12 pm #

    I’ve listened to that CD this week, too, driving home from TN and the funeral. Beauty will rise out of those ashes. All the songs were so good. So exciting about Friday! I wish I could see them getting off the plane! I can’t wait to meet those precious boys. Rejoicing with them. Love you and praying for you.

  3. Mike February 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm #

    Thank you for this powerful post. We are praying and grateful for the Jones family. We pray …. knowing that God is working!
    Psalm 51:16-17, “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrificices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

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