an adoption Bible study

13 Mar

The one year mark is coming up.

One year since we brought home Lainee and Zinnia.

the medical visit in China~ This is my "hokey petes!-what have we done?"-look. did we have our hands full! We can giggle about it now, "remember in China, ma? me and zinnia we so naughty!" Well..Just excited, and oh so curious! I was so afraid that they would bolt away from us on the street! This day was horrendous. Lainee had a massive temper tantrum and NO ONE could calm her down. Poor thing, now, she tells me she was so scared, of us. I think we all were! She spent the entire day with a lollipop in her mouth. My brave little baby-girl.

oh boy! Thank you God for beautiful little girls who are so good and kind. Praise God.

 

The weather is changing and everything reminds me of

getting ready for China

or going to China

or thinking about China

or sleepless nights wondering what it would be like with lainee and Zinnia

after China!

China.

Lainee and Zinnia.

It was the biggest thing I’ve ever done.

I have so many thoughts.  I’m looking forward to posting my one year home post in a couple weeks.

I plan to write about their personalities more then I normally do.

But for now I’m feeling stuck.

My morning-Bible reading time-etc.

Has

Never

been

the

same

Since they came home.  I’m more tired, still.  I would jump out of bed at 5am, for YEARS! ( I know that most people don’t do that, I know.  Just for me, I did.  I was used to that.  It worked for me and I’m now realizing what a gift it was).

No more!

I drag out nowadays, praying I beat the girls by at least 15 minutes so I can rub the sleep out of my eyes and remember what day it is, read a little bit of my Bible,  before the adorable little “Chinglish” chatter begins.

I miss that energy feeling in the mornings.  But I try not to think of it too often or I get frustrated and sadish.

I’m going to start a new Bible Study. :) little by little

And once again let go of the fact that I’m not going to have 2 quiet hours before my house wakes up to read my Bible, run, pick up etc.

It’s not able to happen any more.  Not now.

I think having teens keeps us up later.  I don’t want to crash at 8pm.  Evenings are now our time to connect with the big kids.

I want to be okay with it.

So, I’ll stop talking about it!!!!

God, I love you with all myself.  I feel like I need more hours in my day, more hands, more arms, more drivers!  But I really just need more YOU.   I’m tired and yet  I long for deepness in your word, for purpose, and to honor you with my time.  Lord for the early morning minutes, please speak to me, I want to listen and grow in you,   Even when it looks different and chopped up, right now.

I had a friend send me the link to this website several weeks ago.  http://www.hfgf.org/index.html

You can find the link to the free Bible Study on the left side bar, of that website.

other news:

-Lainee and I headed to the ER for a few staples, trampoline accident.  A cut on the back of her head.  She’s so brave.  It went well, no big deal really.  It was a crazy busy day.  Did not think we could squeeze one more thing in, but we did!  And I had remembered that I had asked the Lord for some one on one time to be available with the little girls…Lainee and I had another hospital date.

-homeschooled kids have their big play performance this weekend.  They’ve been working so hard on it.  They go to a one day classical  school in our town.

-fingerprint appointment for next adoption on monday.

 

Great is His faithfulness~

 

 

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One Response to “an adoption Bible study”

  1. KT March 14, 2012 at 2:20 am #

    I remember a lesson once called, “Faith Takes Energy,” and I remember the great expenditure of energy it took to kneel before God with a truly broken heart and contrite spirit to plead with Him for my daughter’s file in Nov. and Dec. 2010. I was so drained, but had such a deep spiritual experience and reached a new level of faith I didn’t realize was possible.

    Now, I, too, drag myself around in exhaustion, less due to motherhood and more to work and paperwork and medial appointments. I crave that deep spiritual feeling again, the time to find a quiet moment and kneel down for a real heartfelt prayer and not the quick prayer of thanks for the day and our food. I did manage once for my current adoption and was rewarded by a way to refinance my home to come up with the first big installment to my agency and that was such a blessing that I’m still in awe of how it come about. I think it’s time to blog about it!

    As for bible study, I have been thinking of a modified approach for my tiny family. I think I’ll choose one scripture a day or even per week, and write it out and keep it at the dinner table so that before each meal, we can read it together, talk about it and see if we can both memorize it and take it to heart.

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