First day of school for the go to school kids!

21 Aug

Imageand don’t they look sweet.

Noah was pretty nervous!

Bless his heart, he made it through.

Christopher left an hour earlier so he didn’t get a first day of school photo

ImageI look at this photo and think…

well, we sure have our share of drama with these 3 cuties

fast forward 7 years~ can you imagine?

we are starting FRESH! (NO fighting in the van :)

They had a great day

I’m feeling energy-wise GREAT!  I know in the long run I will be so thankful for the correction.

Annoyance level is HIGH.  I’m still completely numb and awkward with talking.  The nerves are working, it feels like little pins or knives or spiders crawling on my face.

most of the time I find myself saying, “I cannot believe I actually did this!”

Image

mimi and mom at the surgeon’s office.  I’m so thankful that she came with me.  One on one is the way to enjoy Mimi.  Thankful that God whispered the idea to me.  

I’m fine on the no chew diet, it hasn’t bothered me at all.

I stayed up way too late reading all about jaw surgery recovery etc.  and yesterday i went back to the surgeon.  I’ve wasted way too much energy worrying about the puffiness and numb-not talking clearly deal.  He told me 3-9 months to get it all back, full recovery a year.  SO, I have peace, I know to sit in this for a while!  I’m thankful and life is carrying on as normal!  Tomorrow is my 2 week mark.

Zinnia hurt me big time.  I had asked her to apologize to Lainee and she wouldn’t.  I gently insisted and she ran off and acted completely inappropriately and took off her little locket and scratched out my photo.  

I felt so hurt.  so so so hurt.  She is totally confused and confusing all at the same time.  She rarely gets in trouble, or is confronted by me and when she is she just falls apart and reacts so horribly.

It is over and was better after a couple hours that day, we are back to our selves.  The coming together afterward is beautiful.  But…

I prayed for the duration of the sting, “Lord, don’t make me walk this road!!!”

I felt like I was in a battle in my mind.

But jesus.

He reminded me, that HE walked that road for us, the road of rejection and hurt and pain, for people he loved.  That he LOVED us still.

When she apologized to me I said, “Zinnia I will always love you no matter what.”  And I said it because I knew that’s what God would say to me.

HE is teaching me and revealing himself to me in the hard-stuff.  That’s who He is.  I don’t want to pray away the hard things that he uses, that he allows.  This is what HE USES.  i pray for healed little hearts but trust all things are from His hand of mercy.

I want to have a heart tender toward him and eyes to see past the hurts from my adopted girls.

Please give that to us, Lord.

Another sad thing was that Lainee came to me (while Zinnia was screaming and crying with Chris) and said, “Ma, now maybe Zinnia not be in the Jones family???….”

WHAT??!!??

It was a reminder of where they are from, where they have come from and it gave me a glimpse into her heart. They have been with us for 17 months, in China for 7 years.

God turned it into a day to remind them both over and over that we are in this for the long run!  They are Jones girls, forever.  That God loves us always etc…

They just can’t hear it enough.

And I’ll keep telling them and showing them~

forever

 

 

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4 Responses to “First day of school for the go to school kids!”

  1. Missy Kenny Corron August 21, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

    Weird – My little Longgang girlie had a bad day today too… wonder what that is all about – except that her birthday is in 2 days… sorry yours melted… drives me crazy – but I am getting it… now we are weeks – months between. It takes time and more patience than I ever dreamed I would have… praying daily seems to help! Hang in there… glad to hear you are on the mend and school went well first day… ours is still some weeks away.

    • laurajonesjournal.wordpress.com August 22, 2012 at 9:51 pm #

      all the little long gang girls! Bless them! Press on moms and remember that God has fully equipped us for this call, the call to love his girls. Thanks for being vulnerable yourselves, friends.
      God bless you all

  2. Jenny Grimm August 22, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    Laura, I so appreciate your vulnerability it helps to hear some of the things your girls go through. It’s ironic but Annie, had a meltdown on Monday and she hasn’t had one in a long time. In retrospect she said it was because her big sister wouldn’t play with her (she was drawing)but she’s been able to accept that in the past–I’m always trying to figure out what is going on in her head. Later that day it occurred to me it might be starting back with our school. She has so enjoyed all the play and free time this summer–so when we were standing at the deli together I asked her if it was some of the reason she was so upset, and she said yes. Still not sure sometimes there seem to be gaps in her thinking I don’t understand. During this lengthy meltdown I got impatient and asked her to please stop crying–which only made her cry harder. I apologized afterwards and she said she forgave me but I could tell by her responses to me (not kind) that I had caused her to pull back so I apologized again this morning after our Bible lesson and explained that everyone sins and
    she has been very loving and affectionate since. But, I realized that there is still not the level of trust there that I had thought. She had seemed to be doing so much better at
    expressing her thoughts and feelings and taking correction. So, all that to say we still have a ways to go but one day at a time! I’ve been praying for you to have a quick recovery!
    Blessings,
    Jenny

  3. k August 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

    Thank you for sharing the bit with Zinnia. Is she at the point where you can bring it up now, days later, and talk about the feelings she had and tell her the names? For example, “That feeling you had when you did what you did to the locket picture is called anger. You were very angry. When you feel that again, you can say “I feel angry!” and then we can find out why and help you to feel better.” I realize this may be a lot of words for her right now, but one of my agency classes mentioned that kids from institutions may have never learned the words to describe their feelings and, therefore, can’t deal with them. How many times have we said, “I’m getting angry.” If the kids don’t know the words, they can’t give us the heads up we need to prevent the blow up, much less be able to talk about it.

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