oh my heart hurts for this boy

11 Oct

you read the title and you wonder what this post might be about…

I am going to start with a little background for you.

Our son was born into a family with a mother and a father.

Each of them passed away…The father from trying to cross the sea in a little cheap boat to find work.  He was then taken in by his uncle….after a little while, his uncle released him to a very small, but wonderful orphanage run by two terrific people that love the Lord Jesus Christ.

He is with them for a while…
so lets think about this for a little bit…no mom…no dad…being raised by people that love you…but still not having a real home.

 

fast forward a little bit…your two best buddies get adopted into families from America…now you are alone again (yes, still in a caring environment…but not in your original family).

fast forward a little more…you are now being told you are being adopted to a family in America (and your two buddies are right down the street…)  that should help some…

ok…now lets go to right after  you meet your adoptive parents…you are told that you are going to see your uncle again…AND, you are told that he is NOT here to take you…you are told that he CANT take you…essentially, he really cant make it work to have you…you have to go somewhere else.  (how you feeling now??? probably not so hot as a 10 yr old boy).

Now you see your adopted father…he comes over (and does not know a lick of the language you speak)…oh a few words here and there, but in reality…nothin’.

now comes the day before you are likely to leave all you know behind you and likely to never ever return.

so, what happened about 3 hours ago…

all of a sudden…sadness…so what do i do…sit by him…put my arm around him…tell him it is going to be ok (not knowing if he can understand me or not)…

he doesnt say a word…nothing…not even a peep…doesnt want to look in the eyes…nothing…just wants to curl up in a ball…sit by him more…doesnt want that…so i give him a little space…he cries more…

i sit by him again…put him in my lap….he cries more and more…

its ok son…daddy loves you…its ok….daddy loves you…its ok…

over and over and over and over and over….

this goes on for 3 hours…

finally i put him in bed…he covers up…i sit right by him..

ok son…I am going to pray for you…

Dear Lord…Thank you for Adhanom…Thank you for Adhanom…Thank you for Adhanom.  Thank you Lord for Adhanom..Thank you Lord Jesus for Adhanom.  Thank you for my son.

In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

 

I sit on the couch about to die…

he looks up to me….first words out of his mouth….

“hungry”

ok…(great…it night…well, how about a Clifbar????)

I grab the most candy tasting one that I can find…chocolate chip peanut butter and how about orange soda to wash it down?  i know…terrible…

He ate it slowly….

i am right next to him…its ok son….

He drops the bar on the table….grabs my neck as hard as he can and balls….balls and balls…

ok…we both are sobbing…

he then says…”sorry dad…sorry dad….sorry dad.”

“Its ok son…I love you….its ok…”

 

I just cant imagine what is going on with this poor little boy right now…what is he truly thinking…what is going on in his mind…his life really has had a tough past…one that I could never understand…I was never abandoned…I have two loving parents that loved me and would do anything for me…Heck, even one parent would be better than none…like he had…he has had zero parents…nobody there to be an advocate for him…nobody to call him son…no family pictures over the fireplace…nobody to read him stories at night…nobody to love him even when he does something wrong or naughty…nobody to be able to put their arms around him during a thunderstorm or if he is sick in bed….

That days are over.

But, he still has a busted heart…he is still hurting…i know that we have a long way to go…

 

we are headed for bed here shortly…We leave for the states tomorrow…

We get our visa in the morning.  We are going to hit a small “mountain” to do some hiking…

today was ice cream and the wonderful museum of ethiopia…and the market.

I have been trying to get in contact with the transition home to see my nephew, but we have not been able to get in contact with them….(sorry)…we will keep trying tomorrow.

 

I cannot wait to see you Laura…I miss you terribly (my heart has never heart so much for you)…and you Christopher, Jonah, Noah, Gigi, Mimi, Zinnia, Lainee (sorry Cookie – you dont make the i cant wait to see you list).

 

Pray for a good trip tomorrow…That he willingly comes and does not want to hold back and stay.  Pray that the flight and ALL the arrangements go well.

Have a blessed day.

 

Chris

 

 

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9 Responses to “oh my heart hurts for this boy”

  1. laurajonesjournal.wordpress.com October 11, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    no words, just prayers.
    all my love,

  2. Sonia October 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

    Gracious Chris, next time tell us when you are about to make us cry. Girls have makeup issues thus they have to prepare for these situations. Sheesh. Didn’t Laura teach you this? :) In all seriousness though, I can’t decide what is more touching….your descriptions of your experiences with Luke, or the incredible, glaring, unabashed love for your wife. It’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Can’t wait to meet all of you!

  3. margie moore October 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm #

    Wow! Lots of tears over here, too. Praying right now.

  4. sasha October 11, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    Your doing such a great job guys! You really are. I am so thankful Luke feels comfortable to grieve in front of you, Chris. Such a hard and beautiful picture.
    Praying you home!

  5. Carrie Lantry October 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm #

    Praying right now with my husband…

  6. Brenda White October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm #

    praying praying praying. my word. unbelievable. and the way you wrote the post- well i guess not the way you wrote it but the way you actually responded to him…what a beautiful picture of a dad…giving him space, sitting by him, holding him, crying with him, and thanking God for Him. I know the transition is going to be hard ( cant imagine for him!) but I know it’s going to be so beautiful and wonderful too and i CANT WAIT to read the future posts all about what God is doing, turning ashes into beauty, refining all of you, making this another glorious story of redemption. Thank you for sharing Chris!

  7. Karen Jo Moseley October 12, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    My heart. Jesus spoke through your words. Continuing to pray. You are truly an obedient child of our God. <3 to Luke.

  8. Gloria October 13, 2012 at 12:39 am #

    Oh wow, tears for you and for him and for hurt and pain. But there is so much love and redemption too. Thank you for sharing this. Will be so happy for you all to be reunited together as a whole family!

  9. julie October 13, 2012 at 11:19 am #

    What a wonderful daddy! Both you and Laura just have a humbleness about you–You are the hands and feet of Jesus! Prayers for all of you.

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