a rest~

22 Apr

Nothing seems worthy of updating.  But, here goes….

I can’t leave the last post as my opening page.

I’m really refreshed.IMG_3870

I spend 3 days coma-like in a chair under an umbrella with my nose in a book.

I ate delicious blackened sword fish for the first time.

I had meaningful conversations with Chris.

Thanks to two grandmas, Two grandpas, and Elizabeth;  all bases were covered.

the book~ (my third time around)

Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray.

I soaked it in and wrote in my journal lots.

God is faithful.  He is working in my hard places and I trust Him.

I want to live full of light, in all circumstances.  Not mope around full of darkness and self-pity.

read the book, a chapter a day.

it’s so rich.

Luke weird-ed out when we said goodbye to him.  He was not a happy camper.  He wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t say good bye, no arms around me, no kiss.  Just a mad face, arms crossed, grumbling, crying.

The days leading up to our departure he said over and over, “you going, i miss you!!!!  why you going?  I miss you!!” in a whiny mumbling way.

I expected our goodbye to be kisses and hugs, smiles and promises of phone calls.  nope.

He was MAD.  poor guy.  I was. .. I don’t know, worried a little that he’s spend the days we were gone in bed.

I remembered from Empowered to Connect :  “mad means sad in an older adopted child”.  He’s confused, not sure how to handle the emotions of missing mom and dad.  He’s sad, which is good, right?

We walked away, it was horrible actually.  Chris put his hands by his eyes like blinders, I did the same.  He looked at me, “Laura, Laura, Laura….”  “Chris, Chris, Chris!…..”  time to focus on each other  and trust God with the rest.

I wrote Luke a letter and put it on the counter.  Then I did everyone else as well, so they wouldn’t feel left out!

We spoke on the phone the next day.  He said, “sorry mom I mad.  I love you mom.  I hug you mom.”

It is happening.  He is settling in.

luke in his jones cap watching jonah run a race.

luke in his jones cap watching jonah run a race.

These little and big guys are so brave.  Leaving a country, joining a family, a family that loves them and they are expected to melt right in and love right back.  It’s hard and takes time.

When I tucked him in last night I said, “Good night good boy luke jones.  Your mom loves you forever.  I’m gonna name you Luke “Brave” Jones, you are doing a good job!!”

He said, “I love you good mom, give me a hug.  I’ll see you at breakfast!”  Then he added, “mom, when I am big like Christopher I’m gonna stay HERE.  I decided I’m gonna stay HERE, not go back to Africa.”

hummm…. I tried to look casual.  Shrugging my shoulders i said, “Okay, where in America?”  He said, “not california, I’m gonna stay close to home….”

“good, great.  yup, I think that’s a really smart idea.”

One day at a time with Jesus.

“Jesus in the morning, Jesus in noon time, Jesus at supper time…”

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3 Responses to “a rest~”

  1. Tobi Wright April 22, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

    Laura, I eat up your posts, especially about Luke. I want to know all you’ve learned about how I can help Adugna with grieving and processing his losses. Also, about helping him feel important, special and loved when he doesn’t look like the rest of the Wrights. I will email you a picture!

  2. Carrie April 22, 2013 at 1:21 pm #

    Beautiful update, praying for you guys always. Sweet Luke, wow, wouldn’t we like a key into the door of their little hearts and minds. Amazing how he is processing-adjusting-loving…

  3. Wendy April 22, 2013 at 4:03 pm #

    I don’t know you but I follow your blog. I am so happy you and Chris were able to get away. It is hard for older adopted children to accept mom and dad leaving but the welcome home is usually pretty good. Poor little guy…shows he wants you and loves you though. Hope the struggles with your one child get better soon. It is tough sometimes. It took my daughter 3 years to realize she is really staying with us and almost 5 years to really be genuine in her laughter and spirit. Five years to settle in and completely trust…so sad and so true. God bless you!!!

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