a department we are changin’ around some.

25 Apr

Another tennis match last night.  Christopher won!

I know the siblings probably aren’t that excited about going. However, they do really well and don’t fuss more then a couple minutes at my annoyingly smiley faced announcement, as they are loading in the van after school, “Guess what precious children??? we are headed to timbuktu for another tennis match in 50 degree weather and high winds!  yay!  thank you God that we can go watch Christopher!  thank you God that Christopher can play tennis! woo hoo!!”

But,

Mr. Luke.  oh no.  no no no.  He gets funky-off-cranky-mumbly-spoiled sounding. major.  Yesterday he yelled out, “today i lost tooth at school and now i’m not gonna show you i’m gonna throw it very very hard.”IMG_3901

um.  confusing!  hello?  this is confusing!  whatever.  Later at night he did say, “sorry in van mom.”

It remind me of Lainee’s super mad worst thing she could think of to yell.  I wouldn’t let her play on the ipad cuz she had just chucked it across several seats.  We were on the train, heading home from the city.  She stood on her seat sobbing and screamed out “Everybody BIG FRAHMPEELA!!!!!”  (i died laughing.  in chinese frahmpee is the word for fart).

Chris and I decided last  night while we had 10 minutes passing each other in the hallway…that some things need to change in the Luke department:

-First of all, for me to remember that I am the head of the Luke department.  I’m the boss.

-food.  He is beyond picky, it’s getting worse.  It’s getting OLD.  I’m feeling like I need to put a lock on the pantry.  I’ve let him king of grab when he’s hungry, with in reason, like the big kids. But he’s got to be starving so he grabs handfuls and shoves them in his pockets.  I need to approach it carefully, not sure what or how.  I confronted him yesterday in frustration.  He said, “why you mad me???”  I said very calmly, “not mad.  disappointed and frustrated.  you don’t eat breakfast i make.  you don’t eat lunch i make.  you don’t eat dinner I make.  you only eat junky snacks.  You will not grow if you only grab crackers and ice cream.”  He turned and walked away mumbling and I will admit, I did too.  I’m not sure what’s going on in this area but something needs to change.

-sitting with the family at sporting events.  ok.  i know i said that i didn’t care.  but now i do.  i do.  and chris does too.  next event, his body is by my body.IMG_3895

(this is last night’s match.  I was gonna show you how sweet jonah is with lainee.  but also…SEE LUKE?  refusing to wear a jacket cuz he’s mad to be there.  ugh.  this picture makes me sad.)

-attitude.  He has a grumpy attitude, lately.  He has a very difficult time accepting instructions, its attitude I need to see changed.

-sloppy jo.  oh man.  be-yond! beyond sloppy oh.  oh!  you would not believe how sloppy my luke jones is.  oh!  oh!  help me!!!!  help. me. This is not “10 year old boy sloppy”, i’ve done that 3xs.  This is not “he’s been in an orphanage and doesn’t have practice keeping things neat” sloppy.  No.  I’ve done that 2xs.  This is craziness sloppy, forgetful, messy, nastiness.  where do we begin?  he must keep his mudroom locker and room neater but when I approach the idea..oh..no! ah! … then we hit the attitude, which leads to the “i wont eat your food” which carries over to “i’m gonna cross my arms and not stand by you at any sporting events”.  i’m smiling a big wide fake smile right now.

Okay.  No more time spent on this subject.  God’s gonna teach me.

Beleive me, I’m listening.

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9 Responses to “a department we are changin’ around some.”

  1. Kristi April 25, 2013 at 9:31 pm #

    I LOVE IT!~Keep listening! Jehovah-Jireh WILL GIVE YOU WISDOM!

    Ps 103
    10He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
    11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is HIS STEADFAST LOVE toward those who fear him;
    12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
    13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
    14FOR HE KNOWS OUR FRAME< HE REMEMBERS THAT WE ARE DUST!

    PRAYING FOR LUKES HEART,, LORD JEHOVAH-NISSI SPEAK TO YOUR CHILD LUKE JONES. AMEN

    • laurajonesjournal.wordpress.com April 26, 2013 at 7:16 pm #

      oh Kristi! I read Ps. 103 this morning before ever seeing your comment. I love it when God doubles up like that! Singing bless the Lord oh my soul all day! Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. God bless you.

  2. MayLynne Emiry April 26, 2013 at 6:53 pm #

    I do not know your family, I do not know Luke, I have adopted children but none as old as Luke so I have no first hand experience with a truly older child adoption, but from reading your posts I really feel that Luke needs to be your priority right now. He is undergoing enormous changes in his life. Your older birth children have had you all their lives, they have had stability and have never had reason to question your devotion to them. They don’t need you to watch all their tennis and other sports events. They should be able to understand that not being at their events doesn’t mean you don’t care, I’m assuming you have been there with them for years. I have teenage birth children as well and I send them with friends or my husband to their extra cirricular events. I go to only a few really important sports events and all the rest I stay home to be with my little ones. If your little girls were in a sport like gymnastics or whatever a few days a week, would you expect your teenagers to sit on the sidelines and watch them? I don’t consider it fair to them to expect your little ones to tag along to sports events several days a week just because they have older sibs who are involved in sports. They need to be home with routine and homework and stories just for them, not sitting waiting for a sib to be done a sports event that the littles are not really interested in. Luke needs the stability of home, the constancy of routines, time to understand the workings of family life, really firm guidelines around eating, sleeping, chores etc and that must be really hard to do while you are on the road to sporting events. Yes it is a drag to stay home with some children while others are at fun to watch sports events, but that is the responsibility of the parent–to make choices that are in the best interests of all the children and sometimes that means making a choice that is in the best interest of the child/ren whose needs are the greatest at this time.

  3. Susan Hofland April 26, 2013 at 10:41 pm #

    Dearest Laura. One thing I Love about reading your blog,is the mix of God moments. Family Fun. AND your willingness to share the hard moments. I am praying Gods wisdom to prevail. You and Chris are doing a great job. May The Lord continue to meet you right where you are…He always does! I am so proud of the choices your family has made to further the Kingdom.

  4. Shelley April 27, 2013 at 10:11 am #

    We have had the exact.same.thing with our one of our kids adopted at 7. Seriously. She was child #4 in our family and it has been 3 years but these are her default signals that tell us she needs us more not less. The tough thing is that it creates two things within my own heart: the sense that “I’m gonna grit my teeth and suppress this interloper!” and the “Honestly, I’m not feeling the warm fuzzier right now!”

    The things that have helped? Pull her rigid little body closer. Be firm with my eyes and tone but warm with my body and facial expression. Have clear rules and make it my priority to keep on her. Offer grace when I’m confused about intent but know what our “major” 1 or 2 issues are at the moment. Stop beating myself up because this type if parenting is so crazy time consuming and sometimes I’m gonna blow it with my other kids 5 going on 6). We will survive this mentality.

    3.5 years in and life is much much better. There is often that default position for her, but we can get to her true heart so much sooner now.

    Just my experience. What works for me may or may not work for you as in a things parenting! Thank you for sharing on your blog. Prayed for you and Luke!

  5. Judy Deaton April 28, 2013 at 12:22 am #

    I feel your pain:( Prayers go up. May God guide you and give you wisdom for tomorrow….and the coming weeks…..In Jesus name Amen.

  6. Nicole Clark May 1, 2013 at 10:35 am #

    I was searching career day ideas for children who choose to be “moms” and I stumbled across your blog. I fell in love instantly with the family love and Godliness in your lives. I hope everything gets better with Luke, I’m sure he’s just trying to fit into a family where maybe he sometimes feels left out. That’s normal with eight children, but everything will settle down soon. God will answer your prayers in his time.

    I’ve always said I want 8 children, and want to adopt. I have 2 of my own right now and eventually want to extend my family. I think it’s so special that you have taken on these children that you love so much and that needed you. Luke will realize how lucky he is, but not because he’s told, because he feels your love that he’s been wanting for so long. Most older children don’t get adopted because it’s a tough transition for everyone involved.

    Just like Ruth, God rewarded her for be selfless and putting others before herself. Your family will be rewarded with even more love and blessings. So happy that I ran into your blog, I started following and will be keeping up :-)

    Love from our family to yours,
    Nicole

  7. Carrie May 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm #

    Lifting it up right now…

  8. Carolyn June 3, 2013 at 10:40 pm #

    Prayers are on your way! For all of you.
    I remember from our foster parent training that some children make it harder and harder because they have to know you love them no matter how bad they are. And they can really push that line, hoping and praying that you won’t reject them, while giving you every reason they can think of to give you reasons to reject them. They are trying to prove how bad they are, to reinforce all the lies they believe about themselves. They desperately want your love, but accepting it is to scary, It is challenging. I am glad to see that you are young. (Add about 10 years to your life, and it’s a little harder!) What an opportunity to fill a hurting child with God’s love through you. Never doubt the power of prayer and time.
    In case no one mentioned it, you may research ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I’m not positive on my facts, but I think i remember it can be related to a chemical imbalance.
    Carolyn

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